What to Do When You Meet Cthulhu [A guide to surviving the Cthulhu Mythos] by Rachel Gray



[Click the cover below to check it out! If you don’t see a book cover below it’s probably ad-blocker settings]

[I kinda want to do a mosaic out of pebbles, glass, and marbles that looks like this.]

“Providing insight into the famed Cthulhu mythos of H. P. Lovecraft as well as the countless mythical threats that creep among Earth’s population, this comprehensive handbook explores the transdimensional beings, subterranean creatures, and fantastical beasts that lurk in the corners of time. From encounters with Barnabas Marsh and Wilbur Whateley to dangerous seaside communities, this witty exploration covers the multitude of imaginary dangers, escape options, and chances of survival when confronting these horrors. Shoggoths, Nightgaunts, ghouls, and Cthulhu all have ventured into popular culture in the form of cuddly toys, but as this entertaining overview proves, these monsters are not so warm and fuzzy when met face-to-face, face-to-muzzle, or face-to-tentacles. Authoritative and hilarious, this “survival guide” sheds light on the mysterious and often unimaginable world of Cthulhu.”



[/queue Learning Channel Music while reading book]

I knew going in that this book is sort of a satire-esque view on Lovecraft, but I wasn’t expecting how actually hilarious it was going to be.  Designed like a detailed tourist’s guide, the book actually provides valid background information on Lovecraft himself, and his mythos as a whole with Cthulhu and other madness-causing tales/creatures. All the while, however, the humor is dark [as it should be] and casual in how dark and fucked it can be at times. Sometimes it’s goofy, sometimes it treads on the most messed up ‘dead baby joke’ level of dark jokes.

This is a really good book to give to someone who wants a sort of ‘Cliffs Notes’ read on the general themes of Lovecraft, and very basic synopsises [synopsii?] of a lot of his more popular works. All the while, cracking jokes.

It goes through all real life, and fantasy/horror locations seen in Lovecraft’s works, giving basic descriptions of them, and all all locations were included in his various works. It makes a good rundown of how everything ties into each other as well.

It’s a pretty short book, but does a really awesome job about keeping it lighthearted and not taking itself too seriously while actually giving good information of the Cthulhu Mythos. You’ll come out of it knowing where and where not to visit if you ever decide to do a Lovecraft tour, and how to deal with certain creatures if you happen upon them. [Even Cthulhu himself, and  of course the ones who put him easily to shame]

The book also made me realize just how prevalent cats are in almost all of Lovecraft’s work [and not just the stories centered on cats.] Also, I never realized how common a theme it was in Lovecraft’s books to sacrifice your friends. Good note to self.



I give What To Do When You Meet Cthulhu 5/5 Zoogs


The question often arises: How do I pronounce this bizarre word with way too many consonants? According to H.P. Lovecraft, the origins of the word are definitely not human; however, opinions differ on how to pronounce it. The most common pronunciation is:


Now you try it.


Have a tissue.




Comments are closed.